Raashan Ahmad Interview
We sat down with artist Raashan Ahmad from the Earthseed Black Arts Alliance to discuss their upcoming September project, I Got A Story To Tell. Below is a lightly edited excerpt from an automated transcription of our conversation, so please forgive any errors.
Falling Colors
In this unique and important moment, could you say more about how this project came about and what the goals are?
Raashan
Yeah. It’s so much. It's such a complex place to tell our stories. I feel like as Black folks in northern New Mexico and in Santa Fe, there's such a storied history, and history here is so deep. There’s many layers, and being a part of marginalized community, it's always in the front of my mind to not be taking up space where I don't want to be in the way of any indigenous struggles, and so that's always at the forefront: Should we be taking up space in this city, as Black folks?
Moving here from somewhere else, the longer I’ve been here, the more I’ve actually been going out and being in community with folks from all parts of Santa Fe, I'm like, OK, there’s room. And then there's want for us to tell our stories, and I think that the hardest part is during this time there's a bunch of threads and there's a community of Black folks here. It's like, hey, “How do you feel? Are you going to this? Are you going to the vigil? Are you going to the rally?”
It's kind of a difficult moment to be such a small population of the city to feel seen here. A lot of folks say, “You know, I just don't feel seen in the city. I don't feel comfortable going out. I'm going to be stared at,” and you're gonna have to go through the explaining of why you're feeling this way, and then you can't just be in the moment of just needing to feel angry or sad or however you want to feel without explaining why. Or you just feel like there may not be a place for Black folks here.
So to me, having this this kind of storytelling event and basically centering Black voices in this town seems super important. This isn't Oakland or New York or Chicago; we have a really unique perspective here. We have a bunch of space and a bunch of different resources that living in a major city wouldn’t afford folks who are actively in the street, saying “what should we do here,” so I'm really interested in exploring what we have to bring to this whole conversation, and also just exploring Black joy. It doesn't all have to be about some pain, some struggle. I think that's this whole narrative also that’s going on, is “let’s see what the Black people have to say about why they're angry” or something, and it’s like, yeah we also live in joy, and we have a range of stories and emotions to feel right now.
“It doesn't all have to be about some pain, some struggle…we also live in joy, and we have a range of stories and emotions to feel right now.”
I just think it’s gonna be good for the community to see that we are out here too. Everyone’s like there's no Black people here. Yeah there are, and so just highlighting our stories is something I think is important, and it’s up my alley, in that I’m not an organizer necessarily in that way, but with art, and culture, and storytelling I think I can add something.
Falling Colors
How has the collaborative process gone, and what has the impact been on getting this project off the ground, and pulling together, given the need to separate?
Raashan
Yeah, you know, one of the reasons I feel good taking this on is this work is constant. This is work that I've been doing and a lot of other people have been doing for a long time, building a community here and being in touch with folks. Before COVID, I’ve been doing these storytelling events, where the focus was centering marginalized voices, and so this community has been building. And in a lot of ways, this has really kind of made folks reach out to each other just 'cause we need folks close by, you need to see a reflection, and so it's just been like, reaching out to friends and friends of friends, but the connection hasn’t been difficult at all.
Falling Colors
Yeah, it sounds like it’s been something to keep you together, even while you have to be apart.
Raashan
Sure, like all of us, right?
Falling Colors
Absolutely. In terms of this moment in our history, at the beginning of the summer, it started to feel like more people were understanding the need to listen to Black voices and actually believe what they hear. Any thoughts on why now?
Raashan
Obviously I think COVID may have played a role in the groundswell. Possibly, you know, it seems like in a lot of the other murders, people could have a kind of narrative; “Oh well, maybe this was happening,” and “Why was he doing this?” and like, “What about that?” In this, there's no denying how wrong this was. I haven't heard anybody on the on the right say, “This police man is doing a good job here,” and I think that's one of the biggest differences. It's just that other narrative that's always there in every police killing that’s like, “well, also this;” it's hard to make one for a guy kneeling on this guy's neck for this long like this. It doesn't seem like there's any reasonable explanation, so while sitting home, we have nothing else to do except sit home and watch these murders on the timeline over and over again, so maybe that's it.
This has happened so many times, and so I'm really encouraged by the amount of people that seem to care right now, and I’m really worried about all this going away like every single one of the other ones did.
Falling Colors
What’s your view on the role art plays in maintaining momentum in movements like this, where so much energy is based on people being out in the streets?
Raashan
All of it. My history here, [Raashan gestures to a wall of vinyl records] my records have shown me.
When you see interviews with Angela Davis in prison, she talks about Nina Simone coming to visit and Nina Simone saying, “I'm sorry I don’t know more about the struggle. I didn't read enough.” And she’s like, “Your songs are what keeps the struggle going,” Or seeing how in the early 80s, Basquiat, and Andy Warhol, and hip hop, that culmination of culture and art changed a whole era because of the coming together of worlds. And you know, James Baldwin, the Harlem Renaissance, there's so many examples of how art, especially when intersected with some actual plan, can do real good.
And for me, the visualization of us is step one. The bare minimum is more public art of Black folks in the city, just so we see each other. There's lots of high schools, I do youth workshops, I mentor youth and do a bunch of community work as well, and just seeing different folks, I think that's one of the big attractions. When there are events that are super inclusive of all folks, everyone is happy about that. Most people that moved here from another city, or people from here, we all understand how beautiful diversity is.
And when it comes to art and activism together, I think it's like silent bombs. You really don't have to say much. One of the reasons I fell in love with hip hop is, I’m listening to this music and dancing and I'm like, “Why am I screaming ‘Fight the power’ or ‘You must learn’?” Why is this painting, this song, this poem touching me so intimately? And just like being entertained, or visually stimulated, or just eating a good meal, and then you realize the cultural significance behind or meaning behind it. I think it’s one of the most genius ways to contribute to society, especially when it comes to the breaking down structures of Racism, Classism, Sexism, all the “isms” to make a more just world.
Falling Colors
In your music there is so much positivity, and hope, and also pain. How do you process pain where it is and turn that into the music that you put out?
Raashan
I have a real deep relationship with pain and sorrow.
And.
I understanding more and more that the other side of pain is a real awakening; that’s something that I constantly keep focused on in the moment of that pain. And understanding that the art that has touched me the most, to my core, is usually filled with that kind of pain. All of my favorite artists, from Johnny Cash to Nina Simone to Bob Marley to John Coltrane, KRS-One, all of these songs that touch me are deeply rooted. In the heart-wrenching songs, these books, these movies that I love, it really touches a point of pain, and so I understand that's a real connection point for most folks, as well as my own therapy, in expressing it, and as a performer, needing to express it over and over again.
“…the other side of pain is a real awakening; that’s something that I constantly keep focused on in the moment of that pain.”
After my mom passed of cancer, going through that level of pain, understanding that pain brought about a new way of writing, a new way of connecting. To this day, people hear in my music a lot about my mom passing, and feeling connected to people from all over the world that have shared experience just really keeps in the front of my mind how important it is to share those stories.
Falling Colors
You mentioned the therapeutic benefit from repeating it and processing it over and over again. How do those feelings develop through repetition?
Raashan
It depends on the day, honestly. Sometimes someone's like, “Do Cancer.” and there’s times where I literally perform the songs and I'm just in tears, or I perform then cry and run away, and after certain songs I feel deeply connected. Most of the times, in most of my songs is some arc of, here’s the pain, but here is also what's happening that I'm also seeing, and so at the same time I’m usually speaking about the sunshine and the feelings of walking down the street and being glad I have my hands and legs, and I can breathe on my own. What a blessing. And so even though those pain points are kind of always hit, I'm always hyper aware of how blessed I am in every single moment, even in the worst moments.
I think that's my biggest thing traveling, is seeing other folks’ pain, being really conscious of..I was getting water and I was like “well this just came out of the faucet,” I've hung out with my friends from North Africa who have cried. A friend of mine, we were touring in France, and a hydrant was broken, the water was spilling in the street, and he just started crying. He's like “I can’t believe they're just wasting water, you gotta walk miles to get water,” and I was just like “Oh yeah,” so the pain and depression are in day-to-day life, but that joy is also right alongside it.
Falling Colors
You also mentioned you have kids. Have they been influential on the stuff you’re producing?
Raashan
It's the biggest thing. I mean, that's like the grandest.. Every other point in my life and everywhere else, I get confused, and ups and downs, like “Why am I here? What am I doing? Is this worth it? Am I good enough?” That's the constant, “Look at y’all” It's this constant blessing that’s never faltered. It doesn't falter. I always see, just a beauty. I love being a dad. It's my favorite, by far. My favorite thing on the planet to do, to engage in, to be. And a lot of the work is rooted in that generational pass-down.
My father always taught me, his father told him, “You’re supposed to be better than I was,” and I think about that as far as my own kids, as far as generations, we're supposed to be making better universes, better worlds for future generations, especially here, where folks think about seven generations ahead, it's that kind of thinking that makes so much sense. So especially with my own boys, it influences everything I do, and the way that I walk, and once again because of music, I see how much I’ve learned from generations ago that was passed down through story in one way or another, and so I'm always hypersensitive about learning a bunch from them, because I'm also trying to make sure that I’m in the process to become a great ancestor.
Falling Colors
How does I Got A Story To Tell fit into this desire to be a good ancestor, to create a legacy, and to make the world better for your kids, and for seven generations?
Raashan
I just know that the power of storytelling is really dynamic. I’ve put on three, and the first one was in the Vital Spaces lobby, and we had it, and there was a little line out the door, and it was like, “Well, we should get a bigger place.” Then the next one was at Fritz Gallery, and it was like standing room only, and it like, “Oh, just get a bigger place,” and the third was at El Museo, in the little theatre, and it’s standing room only, as each space is bigger, and I'm just like, “Oh wow, not only do I really want this, but this is really wanted.”
It’s marginalized voices, and it’s folks that don't really get their stories to be told, and the the feedback that I've gotten, especially from younger folks or folks that grew up here, was that this is so needed, to have these kind of conversations and expressions in the city.
In this moment, because a lot of folks are thinking about when things get back to normal, I’m really inspired by being an artist right now and creating some really beautiful work. I’m really for thinking not only of the future, but in this present, in this moment, with our disconnect from major cities, as Black folks, what's to be discovered now, and what can be passed down, and what lessons are there? And if nothing else, what a time capsule to have to show that we are here.
“I’m really inspired by being an artist right now and creating some really beautiful work.”
There's the Buffalo Soldiers, Blackdom New Mexico, the more I've tried to research what's going on with Black folks in New Mexico, what have they been doing, what have we been doing? I feel like having and creating circles to be able to point at and say “We existed, and we exist, and this is where we are, and this is where we're planning on going.” And some people will be roller skating and telling poetry, there’s gonna be dancers, maybe some people that are just sitting down telling a story, but then after this one, I'm interested in the intersection of conversations. I’m really interested in making sure they’re intergenerational, making sure all folks from all parts of the community are coming together to share these stories. I feel like that's super important, that people can just see each other in spaces, and finding a way to do it more and more, I'm really interested in figuring out ways to do it better.
Also entertaining. “If I can't dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution” is one of my favorite quotes, and I take that in all practices. I don't want to just make a thing that is educational, or like “Oh cool, Black people are here,” but something that you wanna watch, so that we can actually be viable, but yeah, the thought is to make it dope, that's the point.
Falling Colors
What is the delivery mechanism going to be like? What kind of experience can audiences expect?
Raashan
We're shooting all this month, so we're going to be shooting all the interviews, and then next month I’m debating two forms to deliver it. One is kind of like a Premier, almost like a TV show, where there'll be a time to show up, but also it will be archived, so it's always here. In another form, consistently throughout the month, release snippets for like four minutes here, four minutes here, four minutes here. The idea is just to keep the conversation going, to not have it be something, and then it's gone. I want to make sure that there is some way to not only tell stories, but to actively engage, so that's the piece I'm trying to fit into my brain, how to not just have it be something that people watch and then go over there.
There's a bunch of different models that in this time, even though you can't get it physically, I think there's a lot of great discussions that are going on with artists on how to engage. But in September it’ll come.
Falling Colors
We’re excited to be involved.
Raashan
It's a trip. Every time before this, the way that most things happen, it’s something from nothing. So this is the first time, because of Falling Colors, that there’s resource to actually think bigger, and actually have a broader imagination of what’s possible. Which, as an artist, I can't even explain. To always have to be like, “OK, we got sticks and we got a cup. What can we do that’s beautiful?” And you can make beautiful things with sticks and cups, absolutely. And if you’re like, “Oh snap, there’s access to other resources, no we can really be revolutionary and do some really beautiful work here,” and so this one to me, especially in this time, it just feels like this can be a real jump off for a whole new wave of thought and art. That’s how I'm thinking, anyway.
Falling Colors
Are there any teasers you can give us, or do you want to keep that all under wraps until showtime?
Raashan
I’m kind of going back and forth with different creatives to do some things, but I could never have done what I'm working on without the support. I just couldn't, and like I said, for it to line up in this moment, it's like a perfect; I have tried to be careful being too optimistic about this moment because I understand how blessed I am to be in a place where I have a backyard, and I have like my health and like all the things, and so I'm talking about all the beautiful things, and the blessings, knowing how much tragedy and horror is happening simultaneously is difficult, but at the same time, I am excited at what this moment has to offer as far as being able to really change anything.
And in this city, in this time, for Black folks, Indigenous folks, People of Color, marginalized communities, I feel like a real shift can happen, and my thought and plan of action is to make this event something that happens now, continues to happen, and continues to bring the city together in a more creative way that maybe hasn't been explored yet.
For a while I was so stuck, for months I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I should be in the streets doing something, and I'm not doing anything. I have so many friends that are in such bad positions that it's hard to get a handle on things, but like I said before, knowing how history has played out, and seeing the art that has come from times like these, and the change that can happen, I'm just like OK, this is the time to go to work, this has been leading to moments like this.
“this feels like a great moment to share stories”
And like I said, this feels like a great moment to share stories, so I'm hoping folks, especially people in our community, this is relevant for a wider audience, but living in Santa Fe, NM and northern New Mexico during this time, I think it's needed, and hopefully folks will engage with it.
Earthseed will drop I Got A Story To Tell in September.
To learn more, visit:
https://www.earthseedblackarts.org
You can also follow Raashan on Instagram and Facebook, or his website:
https://www.instagram.com/raashan/
https://www.facebook.com/raashanahmad2/
http://www.raashanahmad.com/
We will also be posting updates on our Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/fallingcolorsnm/